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Humility

chinfed.jpgI have a bad habit.  I believe in myself … more than I should.  This past weekend, I believed that I would be able to teach myself how to sew on my daughter’s new sewing machine.  I imagined one morning the way to build/sew an entire dragon dance costume that I wanted to make in time for Chinese New Year.  I wanted my daughers to have something fun to take to school for Chinese New Year. 

Well, I did create the costume, and if I had to do it all over again I would create the head out of paper mache’ instead of cloth.  However successful it was, however, could not make up for the fact that I was a complete grouch the entire weekend – taking our valuable family time for my over-zealous project.  This was not a marriage-ending project, but I hope not to take on another project like this for some time.  It was hard on my entire family. 

So, I am learning humility. 

This is the year of the ox … my year.  Being an ox, I am supposed to be patient.  HAH!  I am not patient at all.

So God has a lot to teach me this year.

I am a deeply broken person, in need of restoration.  I am impatient, overzealous, disorganized, and forgetful.  I am a clutter-bug.  I am too prone to yell and dictate to my kids instead of listen and be compassionate.  I am so much less than I want to be.  I don’t want to do another dragon any time soon, but I think it will be hard for me to watch another new-year dragon dance without remembering that I am a person with profound flaws.  I need God.