I have a bad habit.Â I believe in myself … more than I should.Â This past weekend, I believed that I would be able to teach myself how to sew on my daughter’s new sewing machine.Â I imagined one morning the way to build/sew an entire dragon dance costume that I wanted to make in time for Chinese New Year.Â I wanted my daughers to have something fun to take to school for Chinese New Year.Â
Well, I did create the costume, and if I had to do it all over again I would create the head out of paper mache’ instead of cloth.Â However successful it was, however, could not make up for the fact that I was a complete grouch the entire weekend – taking our valuable family time for my over-zealous project.Â This was not a marriage-ending project, but I hope not to take on another project like this for some time.Â It was hard on my entire family.Â
So, I am learning humility.Â
This is the year of the ox … my year.Â Being an ox, I am supposed to be patient.Â HAH!Â I am not patient at all.
So God has a lot to teach me this year.
I am a deeply broken person, in need of restoration.Â I am impatient, overzealous, disorganized, and forgetful.Â I am a clutter-bug.Â I am too prone to yellÂ and dictate to my kids instead of listen and be compassionate.Â I am so much less than I want to be.Â I don’t want to do another dragon any time soon, but I think it will be hard for me to watch another new-year dragon dance without remembering that I am a person with profound flaws.Â I need God.Â