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Category Archives: struggle

Live Out Your Time as Foreigners

“I’m all alone because all my friends have died.  I’m not doing anything because I don’t have anyone to do them with anymore.  I’m just waiting to die.” I have a variation of this conversation every few weeks with my grandfather each time I come to visit him at my parent’s home, where he has […]

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Surfacing

I am 41 years old, and am starting to know who I am.  I think a lot of people don’t need to think about this to find strength for their lives, because life is busy and full of the daily tasks of surviving day-to-day.  But I lost three jobs in three years, jobs which I […]

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Remember

I was thinking about this passage of scripture today, and wanted to share it here. It speaks to me of humility and honors broken things so beautifully… I Corinthians 1:18-31 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of […]

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Release

I keep having the goldfish dreams … it seems to be pressing on me, tugging at me, eating away at me. I have this sense that God is wanting me to go ahead and explore this composition, but I am not clear on the reason for this. I suppose that the journey is in the […]

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Goldfish Dreams

The last few days I have been seeing this idea in my head over and over again. In my imagingings, I see a large goldfish gracefully swimming, swirling, and eventually encircling a woman wearing a long Qing Dynasty robe. I heard this sermon this past weekend on suffering which really spoke to me. It was […]

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Beautiful Grace

                I have been moved tremendously by grace this year. This has been a year I would not want to repeat, but one for which I am sure I will look back on as a year I grew tremendously. This was a year that I struggled with depression, […]

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God, What Are You Up To?

This entire month I have been seriously moved by my experiences drumming and painting in the presence of God. I am preparing for a show in January at Bethlehem Lutheran Church and am somewhat stressed about this as I always am preparing for a show. I am also quite interested in the way these shows […]

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My Heart is Changed

Tonight as I write I have realized that my heart is in a new place. I am changing, and I think it is for the better. I brought drums to church again today. Whereas before people needed to be called up to play along with the worship team, this time, all the footed drums were […]

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Breaking Through the Darkness

    I have not written in a long time. I have been struggling a lot … wondering what to do with my life. I had been attacked in May by a patient who broke through a wooden door to attack me. It threw me into an emotional tailspin that has taken me up until […]

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Blessing of the Hands: for GR CIVA

I wrote this for the meeting of the Grand Rapids affiliate of Christians in the Visual Arts which we had last evening.  This is the text of the small talk that I gave before we had a hand blessing for all the artists gathered at our monthly meeting.   ________________________________________________________________   A few words before we begin […]

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